MARRIAGE TALK: OH HAD I KNOW…

TEXT:  PROV. 31:10-END

INTRODUCTION – A Scenario

A family who has been together for a while, individually abandoned their first love and Christ the Center of their marriage, only to pursue and go after  other worldly things ...

Later realized what had happened to them and then come back together again... After a short while, they experienced a dynamic move of God in their union...

Then they came back fully to their senses and said individually: OH HAD I KNOW...

INTRODUCTION – A Scenario

WE WOULD HAVE TAKEN OUR TIME TO BUILD UP A VERY STRONG HOME WHERE GOD CAN EASILY HAVE HIS WAY TO DO WHAT PLEASES HIM...

It's not NECESSARY to go on a separate journey that is not PROFITABLE, wasting years before realizing what will happen...

And for you who has been on such a journey... You know it can't end well.. Because it is without God - The Source of All Good Thing..

ILLUSTRATION …

Marriage is like Two Radio Stations:

FM & SW

Little Exposition on the Text PROV. 31:10-END –

What many people don’t realize is that Proverbs 31 was most likely written to a man… not a woman. The sayings of King Lemuel (most scholars believe this to be another name for King Solomon) contain this message, which his mother taught him…

This Bible passage is about a godly woman.

It lists the Character traits that should mark any godly woman

For men in the house, this message is also for us.

We need to be giving active consideration in how you can help your wife develop these characteristics. She needs your encouragement and support, not your condemnation.

If you are not married, then you also should be encouraging and helping your sisters and your sisters-in-Christ develop these characteristics. 

Little Exposition on the Text…

So looking into this text: Prov. 31:10-End, it is a Poem of many Stanza.

We will the see some CHARACTERISTICS noted  in each Stanza. We shall consider it one after the other.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza

VALUABLE (Vs. 10)

“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” 

The expression is a wish. It gives voice to the desire that all men could find such a valuable treasure of such a woman. The term excellent here (chayil / khah’yil) is also translated as virtuous.

Such a woman is hard to find for she is of high quality and there are few that achieve such character distinctions and ability.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza

TRUSTWORTHY (Vs. 11)

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.” 

The word “gain” signifies the profit which she brings in.

Because she is trustworthy, her husband is able to pursue things outside the home for the benefit of his family and the community. 

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza

CONTINUALLY GOOD (Vs. 12)

“She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.” This is the source of her husband’s trust in her. While finances are important in marriage, marriage is not about finances. The gain she brings into the family mentioned in verse 11 arises out of this characteristic of doing her husband good. 

She is not striving to find self fulfillment in anything other than being God’s blessing in doing her husband good. No wonder the heart of this man can trust her.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza…

INDUSTRIOUS (Vs. 13)

“She looks for wool and flax, and works with her hands in delight.” 

Part of the gain that she brings into the household is due to her industrious nature.

Work is a good thing. The story of Ruth is a good example of such a woman. She is one that Ecclesiastes 5:18 would describe as enjoying herself in all her labor in which she toils under the sun during the few years of life God has granted to her. This is her reward.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza…

PRUDENT (Vs. 14)

“She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.” In the care and advancement of her family this woman will go out beyond the nearest circle to be more prudent in her business. In other words, she does not shop at stores just because they are convenient, but she sacrifices her own comfort to get what is best for her family.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza…

DILIGENT (Vs 15)

“She rises also while it is still night, And gives food to her household, And portions to her maidens.” The care of her family is more important to her than her own comfort. It is easy to stay in bed and let those that have to be somewhere else early get their own breakfast, but this woman desires to be part of meeting the needs of her family. This issue here is not that she is a “morning” person that gets up so early, but that she is neither selfish nor lazy.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza…

ENTREPRENEURIAL (Vs 16)

“She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard.” She understands business and knows how to increase her profits through diversification.

 She does not loosely spend whatever funds she has available, instead, she saves and makes business investments.

The principle here is simply that she is entrepreneurial.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza…

STRONG (Vs 17)

“She girds herself with strength, And make her arms strong.” She is not afraid of physical labor because she keeps herself physically fit. Since ancient Israel did not have “Curves,” “All-Sport” or any other type of gym, she is keeping physically fit through her various daily activities of running the home and her businesses.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza…

ATTENTIVE (Vs 18)

“She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night.” She perceives, she senses, literally, she “tastes” that her profit from her industry and enterprise have been good . She is attentive to the outcome of her labor and investments. “Her lamp does not go out at night,” does not mean that she labors all night too.

This refers to being busy during the evening and being attentive to the needs of her family in anticipating what could happen and planning accordingly.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza…

HARD WORKER (Vs 19)

“She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle.” This is the reason verse 13 mentions her looking for wool and flax. Here we find her hard at work with the activity of spinning the wool or flax by hand.

She is preparing material for either sale or for making clothes for her family, or both.

CHARACTERISTICS noted 
in each Stanza…

COMPASSIONATE (Vs 20)

“She extends her hand to the poor; and she stretches out her hands to the needy.” The same hands that spun the wool and flax and met the needs of her family also extended out in compassion to assist the poor.

She is not only a noble wife, she is also a godly woman diligent to fulfill God’s commands to help the poor.

CONFIDENT (Vs 21)

All her diligence in labor and watchfulness over her family gives her confidence for what the future may bring. “She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet.” She has anticipated the future and worked hard so that her family has warm clothing for the cold months including the extreme occasions when it might snow there. She has gone beyond even this to cloth them well in scarlet.

ELEGANT (Vs 22)

She also clothed herself well, in fact, we could say she is elegant. “She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.” She used the colors available to her to make fine clothing of contrasting colors. 

ADMIRABLE (Vs 23)

Her clothing was also appropriate to her position for “Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.” Because of her excellence at home, her husband was freed up to be involved in the public affairs of the land. He could not have been in such a position without her. 

CAPITALIST (Vs 24)

The entrepreneurial theme is repeated in verse 24. “She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen.” She is an entrepreneurial capitalist.

DIGNIFIED (Vs 25)

All of these are wonderful characteristics, but the most important ones are found in the next two verses and in verse 30. “Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.” She may wear elegant clothes, but her real beauty is her personal dignity.

WISE (Vs 26)

It does not surprise us that she is also wise. “She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” A fitting ornament is her wisdom and especially in its expression of kindness in her teaching. And what is wisdom? It is the practical application in life of the proper fear of God.

WATCHFUL (Vs 27)

Her wisdom is also expressed in being watchful over he
r family. “She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.” She keeps watch over the activities of the home and directs the work to be done. She is not someone who folds her hands and watches others work.

HONORED (Vs 28)

The result of all this that “Her children rise up and bless her . . .” This is the natural reaction of children who are well reared. They have been taught well so they know how to think wisely and properly. They realize how good of a mother they have and so they bless her. The virtuous woman receives the honor of her children’s praise.

RESPECTED (Vs 28-29)

She also receives her husband’s respect. Her husband also, and he praises her, saying . . . “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all. What wonderful praise to be given to a wife. Her husband recognizes and tells her that she is more than just noble, she is excellent, virtuous. Men, do not make the mistake of taking your wife for granted. Encourage her by letting her know how God is using her to bless your life and the good qualities you see in her.

GODLY (Vs 30)

Her excellence of character is not a fleeting thing, for it is based in the inward quality of godliness that dominates her life. That is the basis of the praise she receives. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Charm is deceitful because flattery is used to manipulate people. Beauty is vain because it is always fleeting.

ACCLAIMED (Vs 31)

The rest of society also gives her acclaim because of what she produces. “Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.” She has brought much blessing to others by what she has done for them and they in turn give praise for it. Her godly character shines in all that she does including the products of her hands for they cannot be hid. Thus, she is acclaimed.

Why Women Only STRONGLY Mentioned…

While husbands and fathers have been given the primary responsibility for the leadership of their children (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 1 Tim. 3:4–5), wives and mothers are urged to be “workers at home” (Titus 2:5), meaning managers of the household. Their home and their children are to be their priority, in contrast to the world’s emphasis today on careers and fulltime jobs for women outside the home.

Charge..

Come back to your senses today

Think of All you have lost

Think of all your woes - cursed is he who is alone

Think of all your sufferings

Think of all the health issues you had caused yourself

You should know that FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO.. FOR HE WHO MADE THEM, MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE